Thinking~~~ Been thinking hard~~~

I never think that i would think what i have been thinking lately... Usually i would think that i am contented just the way i am~~ Single~~
But actually sometimes, even though i keep telling myself that i'm happy just to be with my families and my friends, i feel a longing inside... Long for someone to share secret jokes, someone to always care for you not in a siblings-or-friends-kind-of-way, someone who you can imagine your future with together..someone to love..a soulmate~~~
I do feel happy with my family and friends...but once in a while i just feel like want to get away from friends and be apart for a while from my family, to spend time on my own..at that particular moment, i always wish that there is someone i could bring with me..someone that i love and he loves me too, someone that i care for and he cares for me too...
People keep saying being single is a bliss..but they are lying..coz deep down inside, they do feel lonely and want to feel needed and love by someone...
I used to think that maybe i should go with the flow and wait till my soulmate arrive...but sometimes i do think that maybe i need to make the first move...but then, i dont know how~~~ i fear that i would drive them away instead of being together... I fear for a lot of things..I fear to love because i'm scared he'll leave, I fear to move forward because i'm scared of what may lay ahead, I fear of dying bcoz i'm scared of hell~~~
We all have different fears in our life..without fear, we are not exactly human....what's the point of being numb and not feel the fear as everyone else..without fear, we will never know the great feeling once we overcome our fears~~~
X.O.X.O <3