Dear Aaron

Dear Aaron,
You were my dreams come true
Tall with that handsome japanese face
You soft spoken words and that cute little shy smile
You played guitar in the band
You got the brain and the looks
When you taught me on my chemistry

Our heart clicked on the first encounter
My mind was telling me that you are the one
And you told me years later that you felt the same too
The way you shyly hold my hands when i was sleeping in the bus
The way you treat me like i was special
The way you keep telling me that i am the perfect one for you

But then you go and broke my heart
Saying that you wanted more but you couldn't
Saying that our difference in religion is getting in the way
Saying that you want us to be just like this
I can't seem to move on to be just this
I want it all or nothing at all

You keep comparing other girls to me
Just to find that no one is nearly as perfect as i am to you
You keep saying that we would be an awesome match
I keep finding ways to destroy my perfect image in you
I keep finding ways to make you hate me enough not to find me again
Because i would be helpless everytime you came knocking back again

Because you were the first one that my heart have whispered to me
When i look at you for the first time
On our english camp
'he's the one. This is him'
And i never look away even when you keep breaking my heart into pieces

One day, i hope soon
I'll have another whisper in my heart telling me that i finally find the one
That someone will treat me like you always did
Like i was special
Like i was the best out there
Like no one can be compared to me
And that day, i hope your name will finally be erased forever like the rest did

But now, your name sometimes appear in the middle of my thoughts
Thinking of your tall skinny body that looks good next to me
That pretty japanese looks of yours
And how softly you would call my name
Sometimes i used to think about us
If we could have more than this
If i haven't make you hate me like this
If you were mine

But now,
All i think about is, if there will be another this
Another whisper
Another tall handsome face that would love me for me
Like you used to

...this is me understanding...

Everything is not always what we want
Every single day is a battle for everyone
Its not that i'm leaving you behind
Its just that i've understood what we've become

I am understanding you
I am understanding us
I am understanding me
I am understanding the future

I'm giving my heart away by calling you dear
I didnt realize that you've come this far
You said you don't wanna hurt me
Well honey,having what we have now its killing me

You told me yourself we will never be together
You told me yourself we dont have a future
So tell me why should i stay and let my heart sore
By standing besides you and know we're gonna be astray

Its complicated is what you always said
And i know you're trying to straighten up your life
But i dont think i'm strong enough
To stay there and then watch you walk away

If being like this is the kind of friendship you wish for
Then I'd rather not board this ship at all
Coz my heart is fragile
Despite the coldness that surrounds it now

-naraj©2012-

xoxo ♥

...where i stood...

I dont know what i've done
Or if i like what i've begun
But something told me to run
And honey, you know me its all or none

There were sounds in my head
Little voices whispering
That i should go and this should end
And i found myself listening

See i thought love was black and white
That it was wrong or it was right
But you ain't leaving without a fight
And i think i'm just as torn inside

Coz i dont know who i am without you
All i know is thay i should
And i dont know if i could stand another hand upon you
All i know is that i should
Coz she will love you more than i could
She who dares to stand where i stood

And i wont be far from where you are if ever you should call
You meant more to me than anyone i ever loved at all
But you taught me how to trust myself and so i say to you
This is what i have to do...

....Four Leaf Clover...

Boy, you let me down
I tried too hard & I feel numb now
That crooked smile & your charm that drew me in
Your beautiful eyes,
Can hide so many things
You were my Four Leaf Clover
My pure white dove
You were my lightning strike & my knock on wood
My hope & my faith
My luck & love
You were my shooting star
That lit up the sky
Then you broke the mirror & my heart died
No hope & no faith
No luck, no love
Just ordinary now
I'm not crying
But I thought you were the perfect thing for me
Don't get me wrong
You can be wonderful sometimes
But then you're lost
And you can't look me in the eyes

...i'd do it all over again...

everytime you came to me...
You're broken...
And i've given my all to mend you...
But you chose the road to destruction again and again...
Everybody hurts someday...
Everybody feels this way...
You're the one who decide...
Whether to mend yourself...
Or continue to be broken...
Or to be a jerk to yourself...

Love is not something you can choose...
Its either you felt it or you dont...
Its either you are sincere or you're not...
Its either you love the physical thing or the heart inside...

I have done all I can to save you...
But you still choose to stray away...

-naraj©2012-

xoxo ♥

~Between you and i~

And its been years...
Since i last met you and shed my tears..
Never thought that we could be like this again...
And you keep saying how sorry you are...
Between you and i..
There will always be another girl that drift us apart..
Between you and i..
You will always keep leaving me to mend myself..
Between you and i..
You will keep coming back with those sorry's..
Between you and i..
I'll be foolish enough to trust you again and again...
Between you and i..
You never believed for our happy ending..
Between you and i..
I keep thinking that i was just your rebound..
Between you and i..
Your affection leds to my destruction..
Between you and i..
Its always been me who'd left with brokenheart...
Between you and i..
We had something beautiful...
But so dysfunctional,
Coz i knew you would never love me back...
Yet...i feel better near to you...

-naraj©2012-

xoxo ♥

...never meant...

no matter what you've put me through

I never hated you

I never blamed you

and I know I'm a fool

all I thought of you was

a beautiful memory when I was young

and soulmate that probably I've found

but I was wrong

If only you would just disappear

and never showed up

if only you showed up to say sorry

and just disappear

maybe I wouldn't hate you

like I do now

maybe I wouldn't hurt you

and make you feel abandon

I never thought of getting revenge

I never thought of hurting you

I never thought of doing what you thought I'd do to you

but you told me that that's what you thought I was doing to you

it's no use for me to straight it out for you

no use for me to say I didnt mean it

coz that's what you think of me

and I'll let you be

and maybe this will be

the last goodbye of you and me

coz I hate the way you think of me

and I hate being the girl that you want me to be..

naraj10©

♥ XOXO ♥

...sing me a song of the broken hearted...

there's something I want to pour out..but not just yet...
so, instead..I'm gonna dedicate some of my favourite songs now to the men thats been transitting in my heart port...hahhaaha...

These is for Mr Darcy

 

The Pretty Reckless-You

You don’t want me, no
You don’t need me
Like I want you, oh
Like I need you

And I want you in my life
And I need you in my life

You can’t see me, no
Like I see you
I can’t have you, no
Like you have me

And I want you in my life
And I need you in my life

You can’t feel me, no
Like I feel you
I can’t steal you, no
Like you stole me

And I want you in my life
And I need you in my life

 

xxxxxx

Diana Vicker-Notice

I'm still dancing
Now we're burning
The heat was rising
And now we're breathing more and more

Can you see me now?
Can you hear me shout?
When I'm dancing through the fear
Will you catch my fall?
Do you know me at all?
It's like you never notice me
It's like you never notice me

I'm still trying
I'm not tired just yet
My eyes are drying
I never dreamed that you'd forget

Can you see me now?
Can you hear me shout?
When I'm dancing through the fear
Will you catch my fall?
Do you know me at all?
It's like you never notice me
It's like you never notice me

In my room
There is doubt
The only words cant come out?
We were friends, we had hit
And I choke when you speak

because you never notice me
because you notice me

Can you see me now?
Can you hear me shout?
When I'm dancing through the fear
Will you catch my fall?
Do you know me at all?
It's like you never notice me
It's like you never notice me

Notice me

+++++++++++++++++++++

These is for My Soul Bro

The Pretty Reckless-Since You're Gone

Since you hide, since you steal
Since you hate everything I feel
Since you cheat, since you lie
Since you don't wanna try things I wanna try

Since you been gone
My life has moved along quite nicely actually

Got a lot more friends and I don't have to pretend
Since you're gone, since you're gone

Since you're not what I want
You can take everything I've got
Take the seat, take the drive
If I say I love you, I am a liar

Since you been gone
My life has moved along quite nicely actually

Well, meet my lover Gin and I don't have to pretend
Since you're gone, since you're gone

I've been looking for a new direction, anyway
I've been thinkin' bout my own protection, instead

Now that you're gone my life has moved along
Now that you're gone my life has moved along
Now that you're gone my life has moved along
Now that you're gone

Since you hide, since you steal
Since you hate everything I feel
Since you cheat, since you lie
Since you don't wanna try things I wanna try

Since you been gone
My life has moved along quite nicely actually

Quite nicely actually, quite nicely actually
Quite nicely actually, quite nicely actually
Quite nicely actually, quite nicely, thanks for asking

xxxxxxx

Diana Vicker-Once

Here we are, a careful distance
Heres my heart, whats left of it
In this town, I used to listen
Once, Once, Yeah

I had hope, blind faith
Had as much as you can take

Im only gonna let you kill me once
Im only gonna let you kill me then some
Im only gonna let you kill me

Once, Once, Once, yeah

Once, Once, Once, yeah

Once, Once, Once, yeah

Once, Once

Ashes burn the morning after
Only know Im here to stay
I was so, I let you see me
That was dumb, but thats OK
Tripping down to your place
What is love anyway

Im only gonna let you kill me once

Im only gonna let you kill me then some

Im only gonna let you kill me
Once, Once, Once, yeah
Once, Once, Once, yeah
Once, Once, Once, yeah
Im only gonna let you kill me

Who or whatever you do
Dont let anyone love you
Touch them where it hurts
And then you'll leave

Im only gonna let you kill me once

Im only gonna let you kill me then some

Im only gonna let you kill me
Once, Once, Once, yeah
Once, Once, Once, yeah
Once, Once, Once, yeah

Im only gonna let you kill me
Once, Once, Once, yeah

===========================

I know I'm stupid and pathetic...

but I guess, once I gave my heart to someone, trust them too much..

and hope too much from them...

I guess no one is brave enough to be with me and bear all of my silliness and clumsiness...

I don't need anyone to say I'm pretty

I don't need anyone to say I'm cute

I don't need anyone to say I'm hot or sexy

I just need someone that says I'm beautiful in every way possible not just in words but thru his actions...

and I don't need him to keep reminding me of my looks but instead of how he feels for me...

I just want someone who would respect me and take me as I am..

Someone who makes me smile...

Someone who can accept my family as it was his...

Someone who is willing to ride the bus with me...when we have no other transport...

Someone who makes me feel like I am loved...

Someone who makes me feel like he really cares for me...

Someone who can hangout with my friends and me with his friends...

Someone who is willing to listen to me rambling and ranting about everything without judging me...

Someone who can lead me to the right path and not pushing me to it...

Looks are not what's important...it's what on the inside...

But I guess, even that's is impossible for me...

So I'm gonna wait for my own Jeon Jin Ho...minus the looks...if he comes with the looks, it'll be a bonus~ LOL

XOXO ♥

...You're my new favourite thing....

You came out of nowhere

A welcome distraction

A sight for my sore eyes

A most special attraction

Oh you saved me

Oh don't you know

You're my new favorite thing

-Balingomingo 'New Favourite Thing'-

I guess I'm closer to closure now...hahaha...

Mr Chipsmore a.k.a A***d a.k.a MYH

I guess I wont feel much alone now..coz I've got my new favourite thing around..hahhaa

I'm gonna miss you but I guess, it's time for me to stop letting myself down and gloom...

Well,my sunshine is here now...

and I'm gonna make the most out of it...

It's time for me to be happy like I supposed to..

and I know, many people wonder who the heck is Mr Darcy or Mr Chipsmore...

hehehee...

not gonna reveal his identity...

but he is someone who brought fairytale in my life..even just for a day...

watching fireflies on that one night...

and he shows me his affection for the first time i guess...

but then he decide he's not good enough for me...

well, I can't really accept his reason for leaving me..

but I guess, everyone have their own reason..eventhough it's silly and stupid~ ;p

I think maybe he thinks too much on our future...while me, I'm just taking everything as they come..hehehe

Oh well, I'll let you go...coz you know where to find me...

To my soulmate...(well, I believe you are the brother of my soul..hehehe)

we always be the way we are...crazy bunch of kids with "bloodlust"...LOL

and I'm glad I found you though we are meant to be just us..like this..

but every single thing you do, it touched my heart...sincerely...

and I thank you for it...

you make my gloomy and depressed days became wonderful and moments full of happiness..

you always made my day...with that cute face of yours.. :D

I missed you a lot!

and the time we lost? Doesn't seem like we lost anything at all...hehehe..

and with you around, nothing else matter ☺

☼ you're my sunshine~

and that song above dedicated for you~hehehe..

XOXO ♥