....☼ shines....

☁ Life is like going thru the Ferris wheel endlessly☁

Everyday, my lil bro will fetch me up when I'm going to or back from work..

Sometimes, he drives the car, sometimes he bring his scooter...

As we are on our way home..the sun shines so brightly in the evening that time

and i was hiding my face from it...My eyes hurts like hell from the glare of the sun..

So, i was looking down at the road most of the time..

And it just pop in my head...

I feel just like the Sun...

I think I noe how it feels...

 As everyone aware of, Sun plays an important role in our daily life..

We need it to dry up our laundry

We need the heat to feel hot

We need it to make sure our plants grow beautifully

 

We need the ray to light up our day

To keep it short, we need it to live our lives!

But, we never looks the sun in the eyes...

We never truly looks at it..

We hate it when the day became too hot for us...

We hate it when it shines to bright and hurt our eyes...

We hate it when everything get so dry and the rain doesn't fall...

Frankly speaking, we hate the sun and we never look it in the eyes or really understands it..

But when we want the ray and the heat, then we'll be wishing for it to show up...
But we never really love it anyway...

Just like what I've felt...mostly in my life....

Since I was a lil kid...

I was mostly not needed in my own house..

My mum keep telling me to sleep at grams house..which is ok with me, coz i love my gramps..

But I do feel a lil bit hurt..coz everytime I'm not home with them, they always bring my sister to go out...

Until when I was able to cook, and helping in the kitchen, which is thanks to my lovely grandma that loves to taught me everything that I'm curious about...

By then, my mum keep asking me to come home to help her cook...

When my sister watched tv, I'm in the kitchen cooking...and thankfully not alone, coz my precious dad always accompany me and also taught me new things to cook..

While grandma taught me Malay and kampung food, my dad taught me western and chinese food...

I love them both so much! Both mum and son!

May Allah blessed my father's soul~~ Amin..

Well...so to speak, I'm only needed at home when she needs someone to help take care of the house, of my siblings and also do all the chores that she never asked my sister to do...

When i complaint, she keeps telling me that I'm not grateful for what she have done for me...

I never rebel much back then..coz I just want her to accept me like she did with my sister...

But sadly...it was never that way...

She only will act mellow with me when there's something she wants me to do..

If not, it's only to scold me of something that is not my fault..

Just like the sun....being hate just when it was trying to do it's best for us...

But I'm ok with it now I guess..kind of used with it..and she did mellow a lil bit since Dad passed away...

Maybe she realize that she was always being unfair to me...

Maybe she realize that, Daddy is not here anymore to back-up for me, which he always do...

*Gosh, I miss him*

Maybe...she did love me after all...

XOXO ♥