how does it feels?

For once, i thought that this is it
For once, I thought I've found someone who can't bear to lose me
For once, I thought I've found someone who loves me as much as I do

But I was wrong again...

how does it feels?
to be on the other side?
to be the one that gets all the begging?
to be the one ignoring all the begging?
to be the one holding the trigger that could kill a heart
to be the one that pulled the trigger no matter how much that other person loves you
to be the one that doesn't feel the need to have the loved ones by their side
to be the one that walks away

how does that feels to you?
to received all the love that I can give
to received all the attention that I always give
to still hate every little things that annoy you
to hate the little part of me that makes me who I am
to disrespect me in front of strangers about how annoyed you are with me
how suffocating I am to you
how does that feels?

is it empowering?
is it good?
does it makes you feel better?

i wonder...i only can wonder..
coz my heart was made to love truly and deeply
and doing everything i could before anything took you away
to fight to protect the relationship
but I guess, its another waste of time
another pieces to be broken


xoxo
-naraj2014-