.....TwiSting twiStInG iN mY hEaD.....;p

i was leafing thru some of my notebooks that i used to write down some of my thoughts...then i stumble upon one page that i particularly like....*dont mean to brag*......well, some of it may sound silly coz i wrote it since about 6 years ago??...so long already ehh~~~ (n_n)

Oh well, it goes like this.....

looking around in our everyday lives, there's so much to see, so much to learn..yet still we being so ignorant...
When wwe are still little kids, we usually think of one thing : want to grow up fast! (dont tell me u never did..)..But as we grow old, all that we ever think of is : what if we can turn back time? feel the innocence again..
Living in the adults world sometimes can be very tiring..Do u ever wonder why kids are always so active and joyfully happy all the time?
From my point of view, i think that they can be so active because of their innocence. They doesnt have much to think about and all they know is, their world, their families, their friends, and their favourite heroes...
Look at us, we are grown ups who always feels tired of our life, tired of our hectic schedules, tired of people around us, tired of ourselves and u can say tired of everything! Keep whining all the time...
We started to feel tired of ourselves when we try to judge and compare ourselves to others whom we thought are better than us..we feels tired of our life when what we've planned didnt go the way we want it..we feel tired of our schedules because we cannot do what we want to do freely and enjoy ourselves..we get tired of the people around us when they became strangers behind us....Life is full of dissappointment for us..
But by hook or by crook, we still need to carry on and lives our life, whether we like it or not..Some blame it on fate..some blame it on situations n chances...But the only one that need to be blamed is us..it all comes from our mind..
When we grew up, our mind started to mature and think about responsibility, of caring, of love, of hopes, of commitment, and many other things that our little-selves have never thought of...We started to worry, started to try and pleased other people, started to try to be up to people's expectations, started to become more secluded in our own life...We becoming who we are today because of trying so hard to pleased others...If u realize it,that's the truth in our lives...day by day we start to lose our innocence..our life began to fill with cons, lie, threat, dissappointment, self-hatred, and lots of other negative feelings that could took away the rainbows in our life..Our minds are polluted and became twisted in every way..Each of us have a twisted mind of our own...Only hypocrites doesnt agree with that i guess...But then, we all are hypocrites, one way or another...

some of it, i still agree..some maybe i should think again...lol XD...how weird are my mind thinking back then....reading back at what i wrote before, i was like, why do i sound so matured back then???  i wish i'm still mature now..hahhaa.... Makes me realize that, we do change..maybe not the appearance, but inside...the way our minds works and think....and hopefully my innocence is still with me~~~ (n_n)

XOXO <3