Things

There's a lot of things I want to share
There's a lot of things I want to talk about
There's a lot of decision I want to make with you
There's a lot of questions I want to ask from you

But I kept it inside
Letting it died and grow mold in my heart
Letting it rot and eating me inside
Because I feel like you dont even care anymore

You're too busy with your life
Too busy to even say hi
Too busy but not for your social life
Too busy for me but not for anyone else

I was kept in the dark
I was kept not knowing where you are
Or what you are working on
I was kept aside, not to be seen
I was just collecting dust in your heart
Where I was forgotten until you feel lonely

Who am I? Nothing to you
Where do I stand? Obviously no where near you

-naraj2017-

Its All on Me

Somehow i knew it was my fault.. It was my fault for letting you in. It was my fault for letting you stay.. It was my fault for letting you breaks my heart and my soul.. It was my fault for wanting your company and your attention.. It was my fault for always needing you to be presence.. It was my fault for loving you so deeply, that i destroys me.. It was my fault for letting you lie to me again and again.. It was my fault for thinking that you could only have eyes on me.. It was my fault that i would never be good enough for you.. It was my fault for feeling like i am never enough for you when you keep looking at other perfect girls and saying how much you want them.. It was my fault for thinking that you would want to marry me.. It was my fault thinking that you are matured beyond your age, which you are at the beginning.. It was my fault for thinking that you will always be that way.. It was my fault for letting you hold me back again and again.. It was my fault for thinking that you might love me as much as i did to you. It was my fault for hoping that this was my happily ever after.. It was my fault that i'm draining myself to become this lifeless and toxic person.. It was my fault for not being strong enough to get back to who i used to be.. It was my fault for not able to stay strong despite my surroundings.. I was not who i was 3 years ago..and it was my fault for letting me destroy myself when i feel like i was never enough for you..

~Naraj 2017©~

I Don't Wanna Live Forever

Been sittin' eyes wide open behind these four walls, hopin' you'll call

It's just a cruel existence like it's no point hopin' at all

Baby, baby, I feel crazy

Up all night, all night and every day

Give me somethin', oh, but you say nothin'

What is happenin' to me?

I don't wanna live forever

'Cause I know I'll be livin' in vain

And I don't wanna fit wherever

I just wanna keep callin' your name

Until you come back home

I'm sittin' eyes wide open and I got one thing stuck in my mind

Wondering if I dodged a bullet or just lost the love of my life

Baby, baby, I feel crazy

Up all night, all night and every day

I gave you something, but you gave me nothing

What is happening to me?

I've been looking sad in all the nicest places

I see you around in all these empty faces

Up all night, all night and every day

I've been looking sad in all the nicest places

Give me somethin', oh, but you say nothin'

Now I'm in a cab, I tell him where your place is

What is happenin' to me?

1000 times

Again again

I let it go, let it go

Cover my mouth

Don't let a single word slip out

Wouldn't wanna tell you, no

Tell you, no

Nothing could be worse

Than the risk of

Losing what I don't have now

I'm weaker by the minute, though

Is it so bad if I wanna cry out

That I would die to make you mine

Bleed me dry almost every time

But I don't mind, no I don't mind it

I would come back 1000 times

Make me wait forever

Push me away and tell me never

I don't mind, no I don't mind it

I would come back 1000 times

Tell me how you gonna turn it around? (Not Enough)

I'm sorry if this hurts you,

But I tried to keep what we had once

I was wrong, it wasn't keeping me awake.

You didn't listen, you didn't listen.

You didn't hear me, you didn't hear me 

When I said I want more I got no more. 

You weren't stealing me away, oh. 

All the memory's that we're losing, 

All the time that I spent with you everyday 

I think is running down the drain. 

I'm feeling that we're fading. 

Don't make this as hard as you think it would be, 

It's a lot easier than it seems 

And I can feel we're falling down slowly, slowly. 

I can see us starting to drown, can't stop it now. 

I can see we're burning out so show me, show me. 

How you gonna turn it around? Because... 

It's not enough, it's not enough 

To give me what it is I want. 

It's not enough, it's not enough 

To get me everything I need.