Addicted

You are like a drug to me

I just can't seem to stop myself

Your non pretentious way

Your knowledge and skills

A refreshing breath of air

To someone broken like me

I decided to let this go

To stop myself from running up to you

But i find its hard to do

When you gave me that feeling

The kind of feeling how a first love supposed to feel

The kind of feeling that i have never felt before

The rush of excitement and happiness

Whenever i saw your name on my screen

Makes me feel like a stupid little girl again

The innocent times that seems lost in time

It scares me sometimes

For feeling this way

Making it hard for me to let go

Of something that have not even begin

But something about you

Its just so irresistable for me

And i dont even know what it is

But it makes me feel happy

And i'm scared to lose it

-naraj2020-

How can i?

How am i supposed to get over you

When you're looking at me like that

The different look than how you used to look at me

The look that make it seems to be full of love

Thats trying to embrace me (i know its only in my head) 

How am i supposed to forget you

When you keep showing me all your cool sides

The tinkering, the music, the art

How you were so multitalent

That swept me off my feet (its hard for me to get back up again) 

How am i supposed to move on

When you make me feel shy

But safe and content 

Just being by your side (i know i act indifferently) 

How am i supposed to stop this feeling

When you treat me with gentle

Being so careful and making me laugh

Just to ease the possible pain

Making my heart grows fonder for you (i just keep on falling more) 

How can i stop thinking about you

When all my mind ever think of is you

Wondering how are you

Dying to talk and get in touch with you (stopping myself everytime when i feel like to) 

Tell me, how can i? 

Because i dont know how

-naraj2020-

Keeping Cool

I'm good.

Thats what i keep telling myself

I'm cool.

Thats what i keep telling people around me

I'm okay.

Thats what i keep saying to him

It was expected. 

I keep trying to make myself believe

It wasnt that deep

To keep me stuck in the labyrinth

Its a good ending

Of an almost beginning

I try to keep it cool

Smilling and joking

Trying to make you feel at ease

Trying to make it less burden to you

Trying to make it seem like 

i'm a better and wise person

Like someone who is more mature than you

Trying to show that it doesnt affect me much

Trying to show you my cool side

Trying to remember the good feeling

Trying to memorized the beautiful day

Where you make me feel the giddiness of a young girl in love

That innocent feeling that i always wished for

Of not trying to be anything but my weird self

Enjoying the childish things that we both love

Without any judgement

I'm trying to ignore

That it was the ending

Trying to ignore that nothing is going to be

And just keep enjoying your presence next to me

Not knowing if i'm able to move on

Not knowing if i'm able to find another like you

A beautiful mind with a beautiful heart

Not realizing how precious you are

For someone with a hopeless romantic heart like me

But you are what I ever wanted if i had a choice before

You are that almost perfect someone

Someone who screams true love in everything you do

Before my view of love was distorted

But it was too late

When we cant even begin

-naraj2020-

The first and the last

This was the first time for me

To pursue someone instead of being pursued

The first time for me

To daringly saying it out loud

The first time for me

To ever feel that way again

The first time for me

To be rejected

At this age

Where i feel like nothing matters anymore

To feel something again

Was a beautiful serendipity

But maybe to be able to experience it

Only will happen in another life

But i was glad

To know such a gentleman as you

The way you handle it

Was beyond anything i'd ever imagine

This might be the last for me

To fall for such a beautiful mind

To encounter something as beautiful as this

But i am glad

To see through it

Maybe this is the last time

For me to feel like this

Maybe this will be the last time

I do something as silly as this

Maybe this is the last time

For once in this life time

-naraj2020-

This time

My heart was beating again

Falling again

But this time, it was different

This time, 

I dont wish for a happy ending

This time, 

I dont wish for a forever after

This time, 

I only want something simple

This time, 

I only wish for that simple happiness

This time, 

I just want to walk it through the day

This time, 

I dont want to think or plan about the future

This time, 

I just wish to grow together with him

Learn along with him

Show him that some love is worth it

Show him that anything is possible

Show him that age is just a number

This time, 

I wont be selfish and just let him be free

This time, 

I dont mind being left behind

-naraj2020-

Fall

Your smile as brightful as the sun

Younger for a decade but you make me feel small

Your mature ways and gentle words

The vision of you always makes me feel happier

Your patience in teaching me

Your 'it's okay, just go slowly'

Your cool side everytime you swing your blade

Your tall figure and athletic body

Something is changing in my heart

From the day that I hit you hard

Unsure of myself and the way you feel

But i know that, this feeling is something that i missed alot

And you brought it out from me

After 3 years of putting up a thick hard wall

And losing faith in this thing call love

I just want to say thank you

For opening my dear heart

Even if we will never be anything other

But i know that its capable of beating again

After i found you

Sometimes I wonder when you sleep
Are you ever dreaming of me?
Sometimes when I look into your eyes
I pretend you're mine, all the damn time
Cause I like you

-naraj2020-