...out,out brief candles...

involve in a relationship for the first time..all i think about love & relationship is happiness all year round...no sadness involved unless when it came to separation between the two souls...never did i know that the reality is not like what in fairy tales that i used to read.

Starting out innocently, i pour my heart and give all the love i had to give to that one person..thinking that he's doing the same...believing that he'd do the same...i keep my faith in him, eventhough everyday I feel like my heart is breaking...I keep giving out my love no matter what he'd do...and i believed that we'd make it through...

yet, i was surrounded by people who are more senior in this relationship department...and my mistakes is to look towards them and how they handle their relationship and love...iinstead of loving in my own way, slowly, without realizing, I'm becoming more like them and trying to turn my relationship like them...
as my heart keeps breaking, at that time, i guess it's a right move..

.I thought that i shouldn't give too much love and start asking back for it...I start to stop giving out too much of my heart, and i thought I feel much better...little did i know that my heart was turning into ice...I started being harsh, I started being angry...I thought that i should stop being weak in this relationship and show him that I can do on my own better...thought that he would change...but it seems like our ship is sinking far than we realize...and turns out that he'd found a boat without taking me with him...

I was left alone..sinking..and going deep down under...staring at the emptiness...
then I decided, I don't need a boat to save my life..heck, i can swim myself out....
so i started swimming up for air..for the sunshine that i longed for....when i finally reach the shores, he's still struggling with his paddling...and along the way, i guess, he'd found another ship to take him in...and I'm finally having my feet on the ground, started to realize that, I shouldn't have stop giving out my love...it does matter if i didn't get it back, coz i got plenty to give...and by doing just that, my heart feels warm and alive..rather than cold and bitter in an empty ship~

naraj09©

XOXO  ♥