...it's all bull-s**t...

actually, this thought have been hanging around in my head lately

Just didn't have the right time and the right place to spill it out

Haven't been able to get my hands on Kaname-sama the lappy at night coz mum've been using it..

But now, she got her own little lappy, so she won't bother mine...i hope so..hahaha

The thing is...

People keep saying that size doesn't matter...or appearance doesn't matter..

But you what?

It's all bulls**t!

No matter what, people will always looks at the appearance rather than what's inside you...

It's a typical way of human thinking i might say...

The Impression always be the first thing people think about and talk about...

Looks always comes first..even for me... ♥

I'm saying this out of what I've observe from certain people that I've known...

Since I'm little, grandma keep saying that I'm beautiful, but grandpa keep saying that I look like a monkey coz I was quite a rascal back then...play with the boys and act like them...hahahhaa..

And i was so active that everything that i ate just don't linger long enough to become fat in my body..

But since I entered senior high school and been busy with classes and club activities, I stop our daily race routine...

A sudden stop makes all the things that I ate became fat..LOL

I like it though....coz guys notices me more less than before I guess...

I used to think that being beautiful is harder than being ugly...

Coz I always think that people will only love me for how I look..

Not what I am inside...

So, when my grandpa keep saying that I look fat and no one will like me...I'm feeling quite content..hahahha

Then, my mum keep asking me to cut down my food intake...my dad still loves me regardless...

and there's this one person..she keep saying that I look just fine and not fat..bla bla bla...

and she said looks doesnt matter..and those stuff..bla bla bla...

Then suddenly, she compares me with my sister...which I hate a lot!

I hate comparison!

She told me that I should slim down..coz I'm more beautiful than my sister if I'm slimmer...

which I totally disagree!!

No matter what my sis is more beautiful...I adore her... :D

and to think that she compared me with my sis and told me to find a good guy and to slim down to look beautiful...it's just too much!!!

Seriously!

I dont care if no one likes me the way I am now...

Apparently, they are not worthy for me that way...

I still remember the feelings of insecure I get when I was in my previous r/ship...

I keep asking him why? the real reason he likes me...and I'm feeling more insecure when he answered bcoz I'm beautiful...

It's gruesome~~~

I feel as though he would leave me anytime when he feels I'm not beautiful enough for him anymore..

which kinda turns out true...b*****d

ooppsss!! getting so emo out of the blue...

oh well...

I think that's quite enough for now..

Klak ada gik org ngerepak mdh panjang glak n xda noktah lak...ROTFL

XOXO  ♥