..can anybody find me???....

Glee Cast : Somebody to Love

Can anybody find me somebody to love?
Each morning I get up I die a little
Can barely stand on my feet
Take a look in the mirror and cry
Lord what you're doing to me
I have spent all my years in believing you
But I just can't get no relief, Lord!
Somebody, somebody
Can anybody find me somebody to love?

I work hard every day of my life
I work till I ache my bones
At the end I take home my hard earned pay all on my own -
I get down on my knees
And I start to pray
Till the tears run down from my eyes
Lord - somebody - somebody
Can anybody find me - somebody to love?

(He works hard)

Everyday - I try and I try and I try -
But everybody wants to put me down
They say I'm goin' crazy
They say I got a lot of water in my brain
Got no common sense
I got nobody left to believe
Yeah - yeah yeah yeah

Oh Lord
Somebody - somebody
Can anybody find me somebody to love?

Got no feel, I got no rhythm
I just keep losing my beat
I'm ok, I'm alright
Ain't gonna face no defeat
I just gotta get out of this prison cell
Someday I'm gonna be free, Lord!

Find me somebody to love
Can anybody find me somebody to love?

 

an old song that's been sing again by the Glee cast..one of my fav songs..
suddenly pops in my head when my grams ask me if I have someone special in my life...
*sigh* =.=|||
 It's not something that is easy for me... I dont know how and who...just when I tot i found the one, always seems wrong by the end of the day...
Now I feel hopeless and clueless~
I told my grams,maybe I just ask her to find one for me and get married..LOL
but she insist for me to find it for myself first~~
*sigh sigh sigh*
why is it seem so easy for other people to find one n be happy?

Hmmm..maybe part of me still scared to be in a relationship..
or maybe I'm looking at the wrong direction all along~
I just dont know... grams keep nagging about that~
I feel lost with myself now...

I'm not a flirter...I dont know how to flirt..
If I like someone, I'll show them that I care
I'll told them subtly that I like them...
Sometimes, I'm bold enough to admit the truth~
But then, I hardly gets the answer that I want~ *sigh*
I feel so old suddenly~
can I have a special wish for my bday?
LOL

*suddenly getting emo*

XOXO ♥

 

...Selamat Hari Gawai & Pesta Kaamatan...

Selamat Menyambut Hari Gawai to all my family and my friends!!!

Anang rerinyik auk~~hehehe

Too bad cant go back to my gramps village to meet all my cuzzie to celebrate gawai with them~

Don't drink and drive..if u drink, dont drive~~~

hehehehe...

My body is full with bruises again~

Spent whole day yesterday with my siblings and my cuzzies~

Start our morning with Futsal~

then we went for Swimming~

at first, we thought wanna go swimming at Samarahan Swimming pool~

but when we reach there~ sadly, It's closed~ Haish~

so, we continue our journey to swim at Kubah at Matang family park...

and we got the pool for ourselves! Heaven!!!!

hahahaha~

then, before we went back home, we played at the playground for a while~~

they told me to play the spinning wheel~ a must play for me~

and my biggest bod cuzzie spins me around n around~

I was fine for a while~ till it's time to go home~

I spilled out all my guts and have to stop for sometimes by the road side coz I still feel nauseous...

LOL~

despite all that, It's still the best day for me and the best birthday for my ottoto-kun~ hahaha

and it's just not me who gets the treats on spinning wheel~ my bro also gets it~ and he spilled his guts while we went to buy cakes for him~hahhaha

XOXO ♥

...I'm In Love....

With My Life~~~

Such a heavenly days since I got back~

I fell in love with everything around me~

days spent are so full with things I love and people i love most!

I feel so blessed~~

eventhough

I know, that some of my dear friends are not having the time of their lives yet~

trying my best to console them~ 

hope I'll be helpful enough for you guys~~~ XD

and, I'm done with hoping~

I'm gonna let go of the hope that I seed..coz I dont see anything to be sow

maybe not having you in my life would be good for both of us..

and I know the truth~

U like her...my own friend...so, goodbye~ XD

XOXO ♥

...Nature is always there when we need them, but are we???...

Spending my evening with my aunt n family at Pekan Rabu~~

What a beautiful place it is during the sunset~

With the breeze from the sea

The Beautiful Scenery

Makes me feel serene & tranquil at the same time~

as if I could live just by watching those moment forever...:D

That's what I'd like to called Perfection Thru Imperfection~~~♥

 

XOXO ♥

...RaiSe yOuR hOpeFul vOiCe...

today~~

been spending time with a bunch of underwater creatures~~

and don't I just love them!!

wish I could spend the whole day in there~~~

all the beautiful creatures with their own uniqueness captivates my eyes and my soul~

But there's this one creature that I feel really sad about~

The Weedy Seadragon...

I don't know what happen to the others, coz my aunt told me that a few years ago, there are a lot of them~

now, she's alone in that tank~

and I spent quite a while looking at her

*i assume that it is a her* :D

looking into her eyes, seems like something inside me moves~

I feel sad and as if I could sense her loneliness trapped in those place without anyone to talk to or to play with...

It feels like she's just waiting for her last moment to arrive...

as if she doesn't want to care anymore

as if she lost all her hopes

as if nothing can save her

It's such a tragedy to lose a beautiful creature like that...

I wish I could somehow save her and make she feel less lonely...

I even try to talk to her..which, I dont think she heard at all~~ LOL

but, then when i looked at those eyes, it seems like it was full of sadness..and I cant help to feel deep empathy washing over me...

as I watched her moves swiftly from one end to the other...

I wish someday, she'll have friends to accompany her and lift up her spirits~

Like my friends did for me~

Thank you so much guys~~~

without all of you, my world would be empty~~

XOXO ♥

...FaLliNg sLowLy...

I love this song~~~ since I heard Yong Hwa sing it to Seo Hyun~~~
such heavenly voice and beautiful face singing together~~~ *melts*

Enjoy~

I don't know you
But I want you
All the more for that
Words fall through me
And always fool me
And I can't react
And games that never amount
To more than they're meant
Will play themselves out

Take this sinking boat and point it home
We've still got time
Raise your hopeful voice you have a choice
You'll make it now

Falling slowly, eyes that know me
And I can't go back
Moods that take me and erase me
And I'm painted black
You have suffered enough
And warred with yourself
It's time that you won

Take this sinking boat and point it home
We've still got time
Raise your hopeful voice you had a choice
You've made it now
Falling slowly sing your melody
I'll sing along

Falling Slowly (Once OST)

....still just as naive....

Oh well~~

After regret wash over me from the last post~

I reminisced back on my past, where situation like that happen to me...

well, almost the same, but with different approach~ hahhahaa

Well, after I finish Form 5, before getting into matrix, I work as a waitress at my aunt's restaurant~ a western food restaurant...

and I work at the bar section for lunch...

then, this one day...

few customer..and suddenly came a woman in suit and a guy dressed as well...

both chinese...and the guy is soooooooo hansamu eh~~ *melts*

look so charismatic and he's chinese~~ with a great smile~~

then I served their table~~

the woman seems to hate the sight of me~~hahhaha

but the guy, always smiles at me~~ so nicee~~

but then, I feel like I'm still just a kid back then, so I just smile back as a good waitress do~~hahhaa

i think they are talking about business or smthg~~

then, the woman go and paid the bill first, and the guy left behind still writing smthg...

then he wave at me to clean the table before he walk away...

Then, as usual I'll clean up the table after the customers gone..

and guess what??

He left his hp no on a tissue paper!!!

But I was totally clueless at that time, so I just gave the no to the other bartender at that time and she just throw it away~~

after a while, when I think back, I think he's giving his no to me~~

dont you think so???

*sigh*

clueless and also naive~~~

then yesterday,

came again another opportunity that i let go just like that!

a cute, funny, nice english guy that knows how to speak malay~~~ 

who's trying to talk n joke with me, but I just ignore it~~

haiya~~~

*knock my own head*

LOL

Oh well, past is past~~

I guess I'm just a very CLUELESS girl when it comes to that matter~~

=.=||||

XOXO ♥

....home by the sea....

Okay~ 

So, I've finish my finals FINALLY~~~ *ahhhh~~~*

and, on the 5th, my lovely cuzzie came...

we spent a great time together...

we went to take our pictures at iCity and spent almost the whole evening playing in Cosmo World at Times Square

and we've play the roller coaster the most~

hahahaha~~

I keep pushing her to play the roller coaster until she feel jaded with it...not like the 1st time where she feels terrified..*dont you darling? LOL*

Oh well, it's such an exciting days for us~

 *look at the petrified face of people behind us~LOL
we're able to make peace n smile for camera*

on th 8th is our flights

she went back to KK, while I'm back to Langkawi~~~ *weee~~~*

mum doesnt want me to stay at SA alone, afraid that I would go ballistic during this free period~hahaha

so, she sent me here, to my aunt~ which I'm very happy to obliged~ :D

My flight is not really a good one i guess...delayed for about an hour plus...thank God, I have my "The Other Mr Darcy" with me.

Then, I listen to my phone walkman...for the whole hours..

I try my best to isolate myself from the world~~hahahaa

 Then, finally, it's time to board, and while I was walking, there's this pakistan guy talk to me...

Asking what am i doing in langkawi? where am I from? and so on...chat with him while walking to our plane...a nice person i guess..

Then, after we arrive at the Langkawi Airport, an english guy, very cute with his guitar asking me, "Is this Jakarta?" and I said, "No, it's Langkawi, Malaysia"

and I thought i heard laughter behind me...but I ignored it

Then he said, "Oh no! really?? this is not Jakarta? because the guy just now told me that this is Jakarta"..and he said it with a very grave and petrified face..

So I said, "yeah, this is not Jakarta..you're in langkawi"..and I just laugh at him..

The suddenly he said, "Nampaknya tpaksa la saya cari duit dekat sini dgn bmain gitar ni je~" with a mischievous smile on his face..

and I was like, " You're kidding me right???"...and I laugh, he laugh~~ 

hahaha..too bad I didnt get his no...he's such a treat for a sore eye~~

what with his curly blonde hair, and his playful attitude~~and plus, he's a musician~

hopefully I'll bump into him before i went back~~ :D

XOXO ♥

Blissfulness in craziness (040510)

the best and craziest moment for a while

well, as all my frens know, last month and this week is our final exams~
and phew~ wat a crazy schedule we had..except for our last paper~ which is on 5th of may~
Well, we have had like 5 days to study this subject..which always seems like the scariest and killer paper for our course...
so I thought i'd make full use of these gap...but then, i was thinking of resting for a day before i start.. which I did!~ i spent my 1st day with cleaning up my room and packing up my things~
then suddenly my mum msg me that afternoon asking when is my last paper..and I told her it's on the 5th..so she said she going to KL the morrow day and ask me to join her as she will stay until 4th...without thinking, I say yes!!hahhaa
and I brought up my books and lappy with me to wait her at lcct...and her fren's sister pick us up and we stay at her fren house at D'shire village...
So naive of me to think that I could study while staying with her...we spent 2 days shopping and walking around till my feets burns~ and went back home around 10..which makes us very tired to do anything except on9~
It's funny though, the first thing we do after we arrive home. the 3 of us opens our lappy and starts on9...hahhaa..my mum with her games. my mum's fren with her fb and me with my downloading, blogging, fb-ing and ym-ing~hahhaha...
so, the 3rd day, I went back to my hostel coz my mum and her fren have some sort of cooking/baking course or smthg~~
eventhough I feel sad to leave them, but atleast I have smthg that I've been meaning to have for a while~~~
a new boot heel(how I missed my heels back home, been meaning to buy a mary jane style heel, but sadly, my size is unavailable..even my mum tease me saying that they dont have size for little kids..hey, it's not my fault my feet is size 4~~ :P), a new book (The Other Mr.Darcy, which I promised her to read only after I finish  my exams), a book on my new hobby(words puzzles), lots of choc biscuits( Mark&Spencers choc digestives cookies, macadamia choc chip cookies) and some stuff from IKEA~~~ <3
Gosh, such tragic when we enter IKEA..keep telling my mum not to buy stuff she doesn't really need~ but in the end, I can't stop her and I end up buying unnecessary stuff for myself~ LOL..(we just LOVE shopping at IKEA XD)
Oh well...it's such fun~ and the best thing is my mum just bought a pack of 10 song cds called 'The Evergreen Songbook', which I support her 100% coz there's alot of oldies song in it and with a hardcover lyricsbook...roftl~~
and her fren juz laugh at us~
The fun part is, i get to eat anything I want while I'm with them and doesn't have to worry about my budget! hahaha~~ Such heavenly days~~ XD


Now I'm counting days to go and stay a while at my aunt house in Langkawi...before my family came for my graduation~~ and I can't wait to go back home!!!!

Will be picking up my cute and lovely lil cousin on the 5th evening...she will be staying with me for a while before she went back to KK...gonna spend crazy times with her

Miss my grams, my cats, all my crazy and chaotic cousins, my home, my beautiful bestfriend, my lovely dongsaeng and that someone~~ if he missed me too~~ which I dont know if he does~~ LOL
Well, i hope he does~ and can't wait to go swimming all day long~~~ and play futsal with my siblings, go karaoke and have a crazy nite out~~~

I just can't wait!!!!

...crazinesss...

fikiranku buntu

memikirkan waktu-waktu

yang telah berlalu

meninggalkan daku

tapi aku

masih menunggu

bersama desktopku yang ungu

aku menjadi kaku

 aku keliru

adakah ini aku?

apakah ku x jemu?

hanya terus menunggu

XOXO

p/s: I'm bored n out of my mind~ tetiba kuar idea gila ni~hahahhaa..have fun~

...soLid GroUnd...

This is another chapter of mine
A story of my life
still looking for my right path
wondering if this road is the one for me

I keep falling endlessly
But along the way
I managed to grab every branch that could hold me safely
I stopped and stayed for a while
until that ground fell under my feet again

The cycle keeps on going
I'd stayed and I'd fall again
Feeling lost along the way
Taking along those memories that i gained

wonder when will i will finally settled
will i'll be able to find my ground?
the one that could hold me for eternity
a solid ground for me to feel home

-naRaj©2010-

....Nothing....

waking up knowing
ended up being alone today
why do i feel strange here?
why do i feel like i dont belong?
asking myself what should i do
To feel at ease
to feel comfortable
Nothing's here could mend me
Nothing~~~

-naRaj©2010-