...oh, let me out....

the despair....
how I wish it would go away...
yesterday I was okay...
with the fact that I just don't care...
but today...
this heart misses you...
this mind keep picturing you...
this eyes keep looking for you...
this hand wants to msg you...
and with all that I got...
I try to ignore the fact...
I try to lie to myself...
I try to live like I used to before...
I try to pretend that you never came...
I try to pretend that you are just a dream...
A dream that came to my hungry heart...
A dream that vanish when I opened my eyes...
and I know,
deep inside my heart is screaming...
screaming for me to stop this...
my head telling me to move on...
my heart's ready to let you go...
and my head gladly scheming up the score...
and know that they know,
they want me to let you go...
they want me to ignore you...
coz they say, you're just making a fool out of me...
coz they say, people can see how fragile I am...
coz they say, I trust easily and people are taking advantage...
coz they say, I deserve better...
and I know I should have known,
that I feel like a fool...
for believing that my dreams would come true...
and now I'm starting to learn the truth...
even though I don't know the real truth...
but from my point of view...
you don't think I'm the white rose for you...

naraj©2011

xoxo ♥

...and I know...

and you know that we're not gonna last

and you know that I have to leave you alone

and you know that I'll always love you so

and you know we shouldn't started it at all

and I wonder if we were meant for each other

and I wonder if we just defy destiny

and I wonder is it you that my heart's missing

and I know, now I'll never know

naraj©2011

xoxo ♥

...stuck on you...

when I step out from the house

I see you there standing shyly

when I walk out from the bus in front of that building

I see you with  your motorcycle smiling at me

when I walk pass hundreds of people

I caught your scent in the air

when I saw the calendar going on Tuesday

I missed you even more

when I look at my phone

hoping the message would be from you

when I saw green motorcycles passed me by

I'll be reminded of you

it hurts to be this way

it kills me just to caught the smell of your perfume

how I missed you so

and I wonder if you ever feel this way too

I missed your voice

I missed your laughter

I missed feeling safe in your arms

I wish to forget you

But you keep appearing in my mind

everything around me reminds me of you

and I hate you for that

naraj©11

xoxo ♥

....and that's where it all began...

and when I thought that

my heart is strong enough not to fall again

I try to let you in

and then I realize that I'm done

Coz once I opened that door

It's hard for me to control the flow

and I fall deeply

without even realizing it

and I thought that I could just have fun

I could just be in love

but now I want to make it last

and I couldn't let go

and like always

I'll be the one begging

I'll be the one hanging on a thread

and I'll be the one that are being left

naraj©11

xoxo ♥

...a different side of me...

this blog has been gloomy lately...and most of it are poems like i guess...sorry guys..didnt realize it..haha..
ah well, I've decided to create a new blog..a much more brighter version I hope~ ;p
and maybe this will be much of my ramblings on positive thoughts...hehe..
 this is the different side of this blog..

Waiting For The Sun Shines by My Window

enjoy~ (n_n)

(credits to: Epicgames)

...just keep on...

I let you in

and I thought that maybe

you're the place where I finally 

can call home

But when the storm came

and the waves crash over us

I saw that home shattered

and I'm left picking up the pieces

Now I'm in the deepest depth

of the darkness that I thought has gone

when you gave me the light to walk with

but then you let it die and leave me crawling

naraj©11

xoxo ♥

...i am...

I am fragile

but I am strong

I was raised, to always get back up

and I know I will always do

But I do,

I do miss you

I do need you

and I guess you never do

and it hurts

when I dreamed of you

when I dreamed of us

but realized you were not here by my side

naraj©11

xoxo ♥

...could it be....

could it be

that you are just making excuse

that you are actually over me

and you are finding reasons to get it over with

and you don't want me to hate you

when I said I rather have you telling me that you fall out of love

you said you wouldn't do that

coz it will end up with me hating you

but what I hate the most is when it's true but you're too afraid to admit it too

have you ever thought that

sooner or later

I'll end up hating you

when you finally found someone new

when all that I have is the sand in my shoes

thinking that I was being a fooled

coz I'm the only one who didn't know the truth

naraj©11

xoxo ♥

...there's something that need to be said...

I watched your face as you sleep

 thinking about how I don't want you to leave

baby, can't you see that this is where I belong

really wish we could go back to where it was

when everything falls apart

and I feel like the world is crashing at my feet

you make me feel beautiful when I'm a mess

and I never thought that we'd have the last kiss and end like this

now I feel you forget me like I used to feel your heartbeat

and I don't know how to be someone you'd miss

I'm standing in the rain knowing that it's really over

flooded with all these pain knowing that I would never hold you again

I wish you'd tell me that you don't want me to go

when you're in my world, I am alive

You're all that I need to survive

You were the best that ever happen to my heart and to my soul

I'm lost here in this moment

and time keeps slipping by

and if I could have just one wish

I'd have you by my side

I love you more than I did before

and then today I don't see your face

nothing's changed, no one can take your place

it gets harder everyday

I try to live without you

but tears fall from my eyes

I'm alone and I feel empty

God, I'm torn apart inside

Please stay, say that you'd stay

I never want to lose you even if I have to choose

You're the one that I hold on to

Coz my heart would stop without you

naraj©11

XOXO ♥

...The Best I Ever Had...

I can be tough, I can be independent

I'm okay being by myself

But when you came

My walls just crumble down

Never thought that we'd fall this fast

Never thought you'd be the one

In your arms is where I feel safe
Beside you is where I feel calm

All the years of not knowing who you are
Never imagine that you'd be the one to hold my heart
Never crossed my mind that there would be a time
For us to say goodbye

I never want to let you go
Coz you are the best I ever had
it was magical and everything I ever waited for
and I loved you so

We are awesome together
you told me so
but we have to let this go
and I have to leave you alone

Our last day together bring tears to my eyes
but with you around I just keep on laughing
wonder if I'd be strong enough to pretend
that my love for you has fade away

I'll miss your hug and kisses
I'll miss the way you look me in the eye with your brown eyes
I'll miss how peaceful and happy I am in your arms
I'll miss how you would sing your heart out for me

I don't feel like going home
coz this is how I feel
and I don't want to let you go coz you have my soul
and it feels so right just to be by your side

make this a song for you and me
create a beautiful melody just for me
so it could be our memory
of when it's just you and me

naraj©11

xoxo ♥

...Arms...

Christina Perri - Arms

I never thought that you would be the one to hold my heart
You came around and you knocked me off the ground from the start

You put your arms around me
And I believe that it's easier for you to let me go
You put your arms me and I'm home

How many times will let you me change my mind and turn around?
I can't decide if I'll let you save my life or if I'll drown
I hope that you see right through my walls
I hope that you catch me 'cause I'm already falling
I'll never let our love get so close
You put your arms around me and I'm home

The world is coming down on me and I can't find a reason to be loved
I never wanna leave you but I can't make you bleed if I'm alone

You put your arms around me
And I believe that it's easier for you to let me go...

I hope that you see right through my walls
I hope that you catch me 'cause I'm already falling
I'll never let our love get so close...

You put your arms around me and I'm home...

p/s: another great lyrics and song from Christina Perri that really feels like it reads my mind~ ;p

xoxo ♥

...Please don't go....

It started with a playful tease
and I gamble my heart in it
Never thought I'd lost it
Coz my heart remain with you

We went through it
I feel perfectly safe
In your arms is where I want to be
So please don't go

You're everything I wanted
After falling and stumbling all these while
I'm going to be selfish
Coz I don't ever want to let you go

Please tell me you feel the same
Please tell me we'll keep holding on
Tell me that we're going to get through this
Coz you are the best thing I ever had

naraj©11

xoxo ♥