Torn Up Between Kind or Strict~~~ T.T

 

Darkness Or  Light???

I was sooooooooooooooo furiously devastated today~~ My violin teacher, text me last nite and asked whether our school inform anything to me? I said no n i asked him why? he told me that the Mr, who handles the school told him not to come for my class...n my teacher guess that maybe they have someone new to teach me... I'm thinking the same thing too by that time... So, i went to class today with a very uneasy heart~~~

My instinct or survival is always right...TwT...there he is, my new violin teacher who happen to be my old violin teacher!!!!!! wargghhhhh!!! *bang my head on the wall*

It's not that i'm saying he's no good..but the thing is, i can't cope up with him because he's so serious about everything..n he needs the sound to always be perfect...plus, he's just accompanying me with keyboard..so i dont even know how would he want me to sound like... I change my music school because when i'm learning from him, i didnt enjoy my music...coz it's always about perfections and very strict <---not that i'm saying it's not good... I just cant take the serious environment of learning...

My kid violin teacher on the other hand, is very kind..n he didnt rush me for anything that i'm not good at...he's really treating me like a lil kid who learnt violin for the very first time..not like an adult who supposed to learn faster...I like his class better bcoz, it's fun n we talk about stuffs that we study, just like friends...(never talk about other thing with my old teacher,he's tooo serious)... Learning from him, makes me love what i'm learning, bcoz there's no rush and he didnt push me too hard...He teach me slowly, one step at a time...plus,he got a looks that can make a sore eyes gets better..hahaha.LOL..XD

The pro and cons on both of my violin teacher...

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Eventhough i've been ranting a lot about my old (new)teacher...but i know that, the way that he push me, can make me be a better player... I noe its good for me..but the thing is, i want to enjoy n have fun on the way of learning... I'm just so torn up right now....huhuuuuhuhuhu..T.T

*abiz tebik posa nyumpah lam keta tek..ahahhahaha XD*

that's all i want to rant about for today~~

XOXO <3

Getting to know The Me better~~~ <3

Personality Love Style

Here is the analysis:
You desire a love that will last forever. You are quite serious about finding this type of love, and that's why you think carefully about the men that you meet before deciding whether you could really love them. You don't just develop a crush on someone overnight: you look at a person's personality and other aspects of their life before deciding to form an attachment. If a guy doesn't meet your expectations, you would rather be alone. Your love has to be perfect. Be careful though, you could be missing out on some worthy relationships because your standards are so high.

Type Of Personality

Bright and Cheerful

You are always cheerful and charming. You never get too serious with people when they're around, but when you are alone, you think carefully about what they have said. That's because you don't want anyone to see you being too somber. Your personality means you have a lot of friends and you are often the center of attention. Many people who fall into this category become artists and movie stars, perhaps fame could be yours in the future as well. <--how i wish it was true~~ LOL

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You love fair relationship with your boyfriends. You like a simple wedding. It can merely be cohabitation without wedding, or you live separately with your husband. Despite all these, you will still have a good time together until you become a grandmother or a grandfather. Then, you are still good friends who always living the rest of your life together.
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Your heart searches for imagination and you often think about love. You take it seriously both when you are in love and when you are disappointed in love.
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1. Your future friend: People with mature and strong character attract you. Your close friends are usually a tigress or a tomboy.
2. Your travel plan: In the future, you will often take overseas trips especially to modernized countries. You will get to explore Europe and North Asia like you always wanted.
3. Your future financial status: You are very good at saving and sometimes you are even stingy. The reason you want your teeth to grow longer is because when you can't eat, you can save even more on food. Once your money is deposited in the bank, there's no way that you will withdraw it out just to spend on luxuries.
4. The last period of your life: You can't stand being a lonely old lady so you will spend the last days of you life being a kind loving grandparent so that the kids will love to have you around. 

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You goal will be achieved by your own effort. You have the guts and strong will. Hold on to it.
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You are popular. Your friends feel at ease when they are around you. You are cheerful and lovely. It's not surprising that you have many good friends. You always feel happy for others, not a glimpse of envy. This is your unique character. Keep up! 


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Its fun just to fill in these questions..some of it are true about me though..hahaha LOL~~ XD

try it urself at this link : http://www.quizbox.com/personality/test82.aspx

Wishing Upon The Star~~~ <3

I wish upon the star tonight
The star that's shines out so bright
I wish i may, I wish i might
Have all the lovely things i have in sight

How i wish that my spell would work~~~hahahaha...*sigh*

We humans, juz never get enough of the things that we had...<---that's what people always said... But do they realize, if we, humans, doesnt feel that way, how in the world would people sell the things that they made?? *ring a bell??* In my opinion, we always craved for the things that we doesnt have is because, we ourselves keep producing more and more stuffs that seem to be more and more attractive than the one that we used to have...the attraction and the brand or juz the feeling of having new things in our life always gets in the way of our logical thinking... We keep begging for more and more and more stuffs in our life... I know i do...maybe some people think that they can resist the temptation of having new clothes or perfumes, or gadgets, or make-up or things like that, but do they realize, sometimes they cant resist the temptation that they get when it came to food...new menu, new food, new recipes..they just have to had it atleast once right? So, in other word, no human can run from the feelings of wanting or having new things in their life...<---including me, espcially me... I dont know why, never had the feeling of wanting badly some dresses or clothes...but lately, i am dying to have a proper dress and skirt and blouse...huhuhu T.T~~ i want one~~~ And i've been looking, since like forever for a Mary-jane heels..but cant find it anywhere in town...*wail!!!* TTwTT

That's all for today..<-- all about girls stuff for now~~ XD

XOXO <3

Cobaan In Ramadhan~~~

phew~~~ It's been 5 days of fasting month already~~ But today is the toughest for me so far~~ T.T *cry*

i smell this fried chicken from the next door apartment~~ which smells really yummy~~~ <3

and i feel like i wanna go swimming at the pool downstairs as i listen to the kids playing in the pool~~~ *haishhh*


that's all for now~~~ wanna do my work some more n not think bout those cobaan n dugaan~~~ T~T
XOXO <3

Erida went AWOL????

A friend of mine who knows the real reason why i make up this blog has been asking me why are my blog is not what it's suppossed to be...filled with hatred and revenge in words, speaking of unsatisfactions towards certain 'creatures'...The thing is i cant find Erida anywhere these days.. The goddess of hate has left me since i left all the craetures and never seen or speak to them again~~ Instead, Aphrodite(Venus),Apollo,Athena(Minerva),Eirene,Hestia(Vesta)and Morpheus have been my company these few weeks...It's such a bless~~~ I try to recapture and continue the story of the 'creatures' in my blog, but i just can't do it.. I didnt have the heart to do it anymore... I doesnt want Morpheus works towards me be wasted...He's been filling me with beautiful dreams than i can ever imagine, sometimes it hurts coz everytime i woke up, the beautiful bubbles of dreams that surrounds me just vanished~~~T.T~~~ Then came Apollo and Athena who brought musics and arts into my life and turns my reality into a beautiful surroundings and makes me appreciate every single day that i endured... Aphrodite have stop by a little while in my life, it's been beautiful and almost fairy like, but i guess it's just not my time yet to have Aphrodite's gift in my life...

Well, i guess with all the God and Goddesses surrounds me, Erida just ran away, coz my life filled up with love, art, music, peace and everything nice... maybe if one day Erida decided to come again, then i'll continue the hatred story of the hipocrites creatures in my life and also my friends life... Pray that Erida come back soon if u want to know the story...hehehe..XD


A little info about Greek Gods and Goddesses in my post:

Aphrodite – goddess of beauty and love
Apollo – god of music, healing, and light
Athena – goddess of wisdom, justice, art, invention, and industry
Eirene – goddess of Peace
Erida – goddess of hatred
Hestia – goddess of the hearth and domestic joy
Morpheus – god of dreams

XOXO <3

Looking Thru The Lake of Self Reflection~~~

I took a test of psychology today~~~
And this is what i get after answering a series of related imagination-required questions~~~

Your view on yourself:
Other people find you very interesting, but you are really hiding your true self. Your friends love you because you are a good listener. They'll probably still love you if you learn to be yourself with them.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:
You are a true romantic. When you are in love, you will do anything and everything to keep your love true.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:
You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you meet that person.

The seriousness of your love:
You like to flirt and behave seductively. The opposite sex finds this very attractive, and that's why you'll always have admirers hanging off your arms. But how serious are you about choosing someone to be in a relationship with?

Your views on education
Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.

The right job for you:
You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.

How do you view success:
You are confident that you will be successful in your chosen career and nothing will stop you from trying.

What are you most afraid of:
You are concerned about your image and the way others see you. This means that you try very hard to be accepted by other people. It's time for you to believe in who you are, not what you wear.

Who is your true self:
You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.

Honestly, all of it is true about me (except bout the flirt and seductive thing, i dont think i noe how to flirt at all..*LOL*)... I've thoughts about my career, my future, my love life and it is pretty much what i've been thinking... This quiz is really good..

and this is the other quiz that i took from the same webpage...

Here is the analysis:

1. You are a very serious person. You tend to be quiet and well behaved, and you don't have a great deal of self-confidence. You prefer to be alone rather than with friends and that could make you a little less interesting to certain types of guys. You are very attractive in an individual kind of way, and this means it can take people a little while to get to like you.
2. You don't really care about other people's feelings. You do things the way you want and usually think only about yourself. You are easy-going and love to have fun, but you can be irresponsible as well. You are not keen on serious discussions because they can make you remember that life isn't always about parties.
3. You strictly follow rules, and you expect other people to be the same as well. People can get tired of you easily, as you can make them feel a little guilty about themselves. You always make decisions on your own, and can be dismissive of other people's advice. You like to be the leader in groups, but can forget to be concerned about the people you are with.
4. Your peers think of you as a fun person, but sometimes you can be a little irresponsible. You can be somewhat childish, and can try to ignore the fact that you will one day need to really grow up and be a mature adult! Perhaps you could start reading good books; they might help you look at the world in a different light. You do want to be taken seriously, right?
5. Your boyfriend believes that you are a strong and independent person. Your confidence and cheerfulness make you an attractive person to be around, but sometimes you need to pay more attention to what other people, including your boyfriend, are thinking.

I cant remember what this analysis is about, but the question is more like what would u do with ur partner if u have one and of course i imagine if i do have one...hahaha~
but this one is kind of mix up...i'm not sure if it's true or not...but i definitely didnt agree with no.2..hahaha...

Well, just want to share that for today...
XOXO <3>

Turbulance Of Emotion~~~~

I can't find the right words to begin with~~~

I miss him.... I miss the one who used to call me his little princess.. I miss all the midnight snacks and food he make just to wake me up to watch tv with him... I miss watching late night movies with him and fall asleep in front of the tv, but waking up in my bed the next morning... I miss the one that always try to fulfill everything that i want... I miss the one that always back me up no matter what... I miss hanging and holding his hand when we walk on the street... I miss watching football that he like with him eventhough i'm not interested at the beginning... I miss hearing his voice... I miss all his advice... I miss his calmness in the house... I miss running to him whenever i'm down... I miss telling him how unfair people treated me whenever he's not around... I miss hugging him... I miss massaging his back and his leg... I miss pulling out his grey hair, which he always ask me to... I miss his cooking, all the western, chinese, thailand other cuisine that he loves to cook esp on weekend... I miss him always having me to help him instead of others...
I miss going home finding him cooking for us... I miss telling him to stop smoking and keep throwing away his cigarettes... I miss him getting mad at us, then laugh after he scolded us and looking it as a funny thing.... I miss him always try to make a funny joke whenever mum gets mad at us... I miss him for always having by my side and agree with me eventhough mum says no...

Now i continue living ruefully for not being by his side on his last day, for not knowing what happen to him because he told everyone to not let me know because he won't want me to worry... I rue that i didnt get a chance to talk to him and hug him on his last breathe... I still rue that when i get home, all that welcomed me is his cold body...

I need him more now as no one understands me as he does... No one to back me up when mum scolded me for something i didnt do, for things that's not my fault... No one to give me calmness and love as he does... No one to cool off mum whenever she's mad... No one to make funny jokes when everyone is tense... No one to cook delicious and special meal for me in the middle of the night... No one to wake me up, juz to watch classical movie together... No one to talk about arts, english literature, musics, and good books....

No one at all~~~





XOXO <3

I'm speechless~~~

Yesterday is a day full of exciting n happy moments for me...

Well, starts with my violin class... I enroll in a new music school yesterday and the register lady said, "dont worry, ur teacher is still young as you and he's very handsome"..i was just,"oh, really~~ ok"...then i heard the sound of a piano being played from upstairs, and the lady said, thats my teacher playing..he's very good in piano too...i was like, Wow! great! coz i love piano too... then, he came down to meet me..n the lady introduce us, "this is your teacher, u can call him teacher yong..handsome right?"
He's cool~~ nice and handsome!!!~~~ but he's younger than me around 3 years..hahaha..*sigh*

Then after finish that class, i went to guitar class and having a great time playing that instrument and learn new stuff about guitar~~~

Then, i went out with my girlfriend and we r having a blast!!! hahaha...actually its quite funny for us because we feel like we are the tourist as we're not sure where to go because usually we went around town in cars, but yesterday we are walking all the way~~
Quite tiring but fun~~~

Well,guess that's all for today~~
XOXO <3